With the ubiquity of internet trolling, some brilliant soul came up with the idea of internet elfing.

The basic principles of elfing are as follows: someone enters a thread, and immediately starts to actively agree with the author of the first post. Gives encouragement. Spouts compliments. Worships the author's interests, opinions, sexual orientation, age group, racial heritage...

Initially, the author is ecstatic. Then proud. Then embarrassed. Then simply annoyed (since the elf never actually shuts up). Then finally reaches a boiling point and bans the elf. Afterwards, he feels pangs of remorse - such a wonderful person came by, and he...

Elfing works best in combination with trolling posts. For instance, a troll writes: "I kicked a kitten today, heehee!"
Then an elf appears and: "Oh, it's so wonderful - kicking kittens! Simply marvelous! People with such unusual interests make me happy! And kittens are so totally adorable when you kick them! You absolutely must kick some more, and put up the pictures!"

The troll is totally flabbergasted. He keeps trying to provoke at least some sort of scandal, but his attempts are doomed from the start. Elves are impossible to affront. They're completely impervious.

If an elf feels like he's starting to lose ground, he calls a few more elves into the thread, and together they redouble their efforts at agreeing with the author, calling in unison for continuation and photos.

The troll weeps and bans everyone left and right, but for each elf banned a handful of new ones arrives. Eventually, in frustration, the troll deletes the entry, then the entire journal (as by then the elves have migrated to other posts as well), then abandons the internet entirely, never to be seen again.

The elves spend the next several months posting fond reminiscences of that beautiful, wonderful, sensitive being, who brought so much joy and happiness to their lives.

They're a great and terrible power, those elves.



translated by Mars the Infomage.
(http://www.diary.ru/~Goth-thing/p80112523.htm via http://arbalednac.livejournal.com/766581.html via http://vombatus.livejournal.com/368271.html)



http://www.russki-mat.net/e/Russian.htm helped a bit, as well as http://thesaurus.reference.com/